Here's why you STILL haven't got what you want - and how to change that

Whether it’s money, love, happiness, health, your life’s purpose, a pony, or 5 minutes to yourself, not having what you want comes down to 2 things…

First of all,

It's not safe for you to have what you want.

And secondly,

You need to be Alice for a little bit.

Let me explain...

Child you: falls over and hurts themselves.

Child you: receives love and comfort off of parent/guardian.

Child you: Creates association between pain and receiving love.

Now let's fast forward to adult you.

Adult you: Desires to feel loved (it's easier if you just admit this now instead of continuing to lie about that fact).

Adult you's subconscious mind (the part of you that runs the show): Has an association between pain and receiving love.

Adult you: Does/says something you have no idea why but that causes you even more pain even though you say you didn't want it.

Adult you: feels even worse than before you went on a mission to improve stuff.

An example.. Let's say you want to get into shape for reasons.

So you start eating healthy and working out and stuff.

But then you eat a fuck ton of cake and have no idea why.

You call it 'self-sabotage' BUT

It's not that at all,

It's actually self-protection.

'Self-protection? But I want to get into shape' you say.


Because you still associate receiving love with pain,

And if you want to receive love but don't associate getting what you want with receiving love,

You'll do everything you can (subconsciously of course) to stop yourself from getting what you want,

Which in the above case is getting into shape.

But wait,

Because this works for ANY goal in life you have that results in you feeling better than you do right now.

Science has proven there is a part of us that's hard wired to want to be loved and accepted and to be part of the tribe.

It's one of your inbuilt survival mechanisms.

So if you're subconscious mind (remember this is the part of you that actually runs shit around here) believes it will experience pain if you were to be happy aka to get what you say you want,

Then you'll 'self-sabotage' so that you can experience pain so that you stay part of the tribe/keep fitting in/survive if there's a zombie apocalypse.


To your subconscious,

Pain = safety.

Safety = good

So how do you change your associations between pain and receiving love to pleasure/joy/happiness/being sexy AF/being rich AF etc etc to receiving love?

You do the inner work baby.

You go back and heal that inner child.

And you make having what you want safe AF.

And that's it.

You can try all the surface bullshit like diets and workout plans and get rich quick schemes and relationship counseling and time management programs and reading #instaquotes etc etc,

But if underneath it's not safe for you to have what you desire most,

You WILL keep pushing it away.

Plain and simple.


Are you ready and willing to come and play Alice for a little bit and come down the rabbit hole with me so you can actually heal that wounded part of you and make having what you want safe AF so you can actually get it once and for all?

If ‘YES’ then fill out the form below and I’ll be in touch if I think I can help you.

In your corner,


Ps. your ego will do everything it can to keep you playing on the surface and stop you from getting what you really want, but you’re not your ego remember, you’re so much bigger and better than you’re ego and you do deserve to have, do and be all that you truly desire, so fill out the form and let’s get started.

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Matt Smith